Friday, October 19, 2012

Grocery Store Panic Attack!


First, I think that I should preface this post by saying that I am cheap… very cheap, especially when it comes to food. I would say a good 90% of my diet comes from leftovers or food that I’ve filched from events, and then “doctored up” as my mother would say. So there it is, I’m going to shout it from the rooftops, I LOVE CHEAP FOOD! Now to my story.
                 
 A few weeks ago we had a DC program pot-luck dinner (a very fun evening that I’m sure everyone on the program would recommend) For the party, my tribe (Abby Mackenzie and I) decided to bring an apple brown betty and queso with chips. I needed several ingredients for these two dishes so I decided to stop by the grocery store after work.

          
So, that evening, I got onto good’ol Google Maps and routed from my office to “grocery store” not bothering to look at which grocery store I would be routed to. When I arrived at 14 and P St, I found myself at the Austin-native Whole Foods, a store that I had never before entered. At first the flowers out front and the pretty signs hanging to and fro delighted me...but then I saw the prices. Green apples were $4.50/lb. Let me be clear, these were not magical apples, just green ones. Corn chips were five dollars a bag and a little bag a sugar was going to set me back $6. As I filled my little green basket (That’s not intended to be a pun, but I’m sure it is) my heart began to race, I felt a bead of sweat trickle down my forehead.
           
These emotions were only made worse by the fact that I was surrounded by the creature whom I despise the most… hipsters. Everywhere I looked there were old lady glasses and funny looking mustaches, skinny jeans on men and women holding ridiculously prices food items yet wearing distinctly thrift store clothing.

As I stood there holding my little basket of overprices goods I realized that all that was left on my list was Velveeta, o yes I said it, fake cheese. And I thought to myself, “Maybe I should go and ask that girl where I can find the Velveeta.” At which point I realized, “There’s no Velveeta in this store, and that woman will think I’m insane if I ask her.”

And that was it. I panicked. The words “No red blooded American shops in a store where they don’t sell fake cheese popped into my head.” So I dropped my basket, (with a loud bang I might add) and I literally ran out of the store, much to the bemusement of the many hipsters.

Outside of the store, I instantly called my roommate Abby to inform her that I had had a panic attack in the Whole Foods, and God love her that girl took me right over to Giant, the grocery store where I belong, and where we saved a total of $18 with coupons that very day!


                                             
                                                              (Giant at Columbia Heights)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

First Post: Dos and Don'ts!



Hello CMC, my name is Gracie Mahan and I am a junior IR major with a focus on Security Studies in the D.C. program. For the rest of the semester I will be writing biweekly blog posts to keep you updated on my capitol tomfoolery. Today I thought that I would introduce myself and then recount the five dos and don’ts of D.C., which I have learned since my great Eastward migration.

I am originally from the High Plains of Texas, the bustling city of Lubbock to be more precise, where the cotton grows as thick as the Texan accents. In DC, I live with my two wonderful roommates Abby and Mackenzie in a basement apartment on U Street, and I work at the congressional newspaper The Hill. In the apartment, I am the resident cook and I have become known for my habit of constantly singing, both in private and in public (I have a vast repertoire of songs about Texas). My roommates like to joke that it allows for them to keep track of me everywhere we go. I have a debilitating fear of all rodents, from bunnies to beavers, I love of DC so far, and that pretty much sums me up!
And now for the Dos and Don’ts:

                                               Dos 

1. Whether you’re visiting for the weekend or staying for a semester you have to go and see the monuments. Everyone does it, but only a few know the secret to monument viewing glory… you have to go and see them at night! At night, the monuments literally glow, plus they’re much less crowded. I would suggests going with a date of some sort because, let’s be honest, there is nothing more romantic that canoodling with that special someone while a stone faced Abraham Lincoln glares down at you.   
 
                                                   (Here I am at the Lincoln Monument at night)

2. Go to Eastern Market: If a farmer and a flea had a baby, and then that baby started a market, it would be Eastern Market and it’s great! Eastern Market has everything you could ever want plus a lot of vegetables you’ve never even heard of. They also serve a kickin breakfast.

 
(This is literally the worst picture of Eastern Market. I swear, it's beautiful!) 

3. Shop at Giant: Cheap individuals, such as myself, will quickly be driven to panic by the general price of food within the District, but have no fear, Giant is here! Giant Food stores are cheap and they have a great selection. I would recommend getting a Giant card and using the location at Columbia Heights. 

4. Always pack two pairs of shoes: Ladies! Wrangle your inner divas, save your blistering feet, and always bring a change of shoes.

5. Walk!: The D.C. Metro is great, and by great I mean ridiculously expensive. Accordingly, the most important D.C. Do is to walk everywhere; it saves you money, makes you more familiar with the city, and gives you a bit of exercise!

                                                                 Don’ts 

1. Don’t start conversations with panhandlers: Where I grew up it’s rude to ignore people, so when I first arrived in DC I would respond to every homeless man’s beckoning by saying “No thank you, but have a wonderful day sir.” This resulted in my being heckled several times. Lesson: sometimes in city lingo “have a nice day” translates to “ please follow me, I like you.” 

2. Don’t contract critter paranoia (I myself suffer from this): There are rats in D.C., and rats are terrible, but a rat does not make every ambient noise that you hear, and there aren’t little critters lurking in every dark alleyway, so don’t allow yourself to panic; it can really disrupt your sleeping habits. 

3. Don’t try to ride the metro with no hands: I have seen many a drunken daredevil face-plant on the trains whilst trying to subway surf with no hands. Believe me, the trains are joltier than you’d expect! 

4. Don't try to play a board game with CMC DC students: It’s no secret that CMC is composed of a bunch of type A personalities, it’s also no secret that the DC Program tends to attract the type “A”iest of the type “A’s”. Accordingly, a DC program board game is nothing less then a battle of the alpha males. 

5. Don’t talk bad about your boss around town: As soon as you get to DC everyone will start telling you “DC is a small city, so don’t say anything bad about anyone in public. It will probably get back to them.” I’m not sure I buy this…but just in case, if you are going to gossip in public, make sure that it is stuff that you completely make up! So then, your ranting can result in town-wide rumors concerning fake stories about fake people!



(Here I am creepin on my way down to the metro where I probably made stuff up with no hands!)

Make sure to tune in next time! I'm going to recount my first panic attack!